He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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