Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
