1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
