why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I miss vodka workout Fridays
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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