We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
