I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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