did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
