they need to just BURY HIM!
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize