I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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