Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
