i think my tv is drunk
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
