32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
