What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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