Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
