you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
