you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
