my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
