When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
