Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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