Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
