i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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