Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
