dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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