It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
