Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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