I want to walk on stilts...naked
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
These tits shall not be calmed
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize