my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
