I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
