"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
