Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
