I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
