So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
