her vagine was all disorganized.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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