I could make wine with my vomit
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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