so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
