I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
