i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
