dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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