just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
