Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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