she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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