I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
