is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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