he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
COCAINE IS GR8
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I think my moral compass just broke
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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