For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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