how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize