The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize