Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
