it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
