There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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