You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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