can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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