I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
