You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
